Coffee Stretch

Secure Attachment Style

Let’s start off with what I know. Secure attachment starts in childhood. When a child has a secure attachment with their caregivers, they are likely to have a secure attachment with others in their lives. That is the true essence of a secure attachment. Caregivers build an attachment with their children by, giving emotional support, showing healthy affection (hugs, kisses), responding to needs (food, shelter, pain), advocating for the child, giving boundaries and limits to the child, and allowing the child space to express their feelings. These are just to name a few. Consistency is always at the root of providing a secure attachment. Caregivers are going to make mistakes, of course, but remaining consistent is what is most important. 

According to PsychCentral.com, having a secure attachment in relationships looks like:

• “ability to regulate your emotions
• easily trusting others
• effective communication skills
• ability to seek emotional support
• comfortable being alone
• comfortable in close relationships
• ability to self-reflect in partnerships
• being easy to connect with 
• ability to manage conflict well
• high self-esteem
• ability to be emotionally available”

Determine whether there is room to feel more secure within in your relation to others. After, determine why there may be some insecurity there. 

Take care, 

Gwena’e